Friday, February 20, 2004
Emotional Downloads
Some days are better than others or so the saying goes. Some days it is easy to cope with everyone's sadness, others it is not and I feel it all too much. From now on, if my loved ones' emotional downloads are not actually helping them then I'm not going to hear any more. Of course I love the drama but it is too distracting from the rest of my life, and isn't it an ancient Chinese curse if someone says to you, "May your life be interesting!" Life can be simple if you choose to be that way. Do they even realise that it affects me? Would I get calls in the middle of the day with people's problems and sadness if they knew that it stops my progress? I still feel compelled to help, obliged to help because I have insight, selfish if I don't share it. It must be so hard for a parent to let go of the child's hand and just let them take the first step on their own. How did I learn this lesson? My beautiful partner, of course, with so much to teach me. I saw how he felt when I passed on to him the downloads I accumulated during the course of a day. He became as miserable as I was. Well what's the point of that?!! Didn't help either of us. Of course he knows exactly how I'm feeling as soon as he hears my voice or sees my face, no need to make him feel that way too. He has no use for my loved ones' problems, nor does it help them for him to know the problems. My beautiful partner is an endless resource of happiness for me so I decided to let him be exactly that. Then he feels happy for cheering me up and giving me some perspective and release from the day's burdens, and I feel happy that he feels happy for making me happy... and thus another instance of the perfect total internal reflection that is the magic of our relationship.
Some days are better than others or so the saying goes. Some days it is easy to cope with everyone's sadness, others it is not and I feel it all too much. From now on, if my loved ones' emotional downloads are not actually helping them then I'm not going to hear any more. Of course I love the drama but it is too distracting from the rest of my life, and isn't it an ancient Chinese curse if someone says to you, "May your life be interesting!" Life can be simple if you choose to be that way. Do they even realise that it affects me? Would I get calls in the middle of the day with people's problems and sadness if they knew that it stops my progress? I still feel compelled to help, obliged to help because I have insight, selfish if I don't share it. It must be so hard for a parent to let go of the child's hand and just let them take the first step on their own. How did I learn this lesson? My beautiful partner, of course, with so much to teach me. I saw how he felt when I passed on to him the downloads I accumulated during the course of a day. He became as miserable as I was. Well what's the point of that?!! Didn't help either of us. Of course he knows exactly how I'm feeling as soon as he hears my voice or sees my face, no need to make him feel that way too. He has no use for my loved ones' problems, nor does it help them for him to know the problems. My beautiful partner is an endless resource of happiness for me so I decided to let him be exactly that. Then he feels happy for cheering me up and giving me some perspective and release from the day's burdens, and I feel happy that he feels happy for making me happy... and thus another instance of the perfect total internal reflection that is the magic of our relationship.
// posted by Beagle @ 4:20 pm 
