Wednesday, March 31, 2004
Empathy or Sympathy
The Week of the Empath - The Curse of the Empath - The Cure of the Empath
Why feel everything? I think I can't help it.... Some say I'm lucky or clever to be able to do it and feel special to think that I can feel what they are feeling but I really think it might just be rude, an intrusion. Do I need to feel? Why? What is it distracting me from? I reflect so well, maybe I'm a mirror. How do I care for my sad loved ones and feel what each of them feels at the same time? How do I know I'm not tainting their feelings with my own impulses - if I felt that way myself I would run away, should I give that advice? Are the people I'm dealing with even capable of happiness? Do they know what happiness is? Would there be any point in them running away if they were merely going to run into the same mess again? Ah, maybe that's the trick, pretend I don't understand... me no speaka da engrishh
The Week of the Empath - The Curse of the Empath - The Cure of the Empath
Why feel everything? I think I can't help it.... Some say I'm lucky or clever to be able to do it and feel special to think that I can feel what they are feeling but I really think it might just be rude, an intrusion. Do I need to feel? Why? What is it distracting me from? I reflect so well, maybe I'm a mirror. How do I care for my sad loved ones and feel what each of them feels at the same time? How do I know I'm not tainting their feelings with my own impulses - if I felt that way myself I would run away, should I give that advice? Are the people I'm dealing with even capable of happiness? Do they know what happiness is? Would there be any point in them running away if they were merely going to run into the same mess again? Ah, maybe that's the trick, pretend I don't understand... me no speaka da engrishh
Friday, March 05, 2004
The Scorpio maneuver
Sting or be stung. What a way to raise a child!
One point of view: "If you push me, I perceive an attack. I am therefore justified in defending myself."
Another point of view: "I am trying to reach out to you emotionally to understand you and I do this by asking questions when I don't understand."
Not really an attack is it? Most people wouldn't think so. The Scorpio's world is precious to them, their emotional world and emotional privacy utmost. How dare anyone try and understand it, it's private. The Scorpio then seems to think that there's no accountability to the rest of the world, they can do as they like when they like, for emotional reasons that no-one has any right to pry into. So the poor Cancer child tries to learn from the Scorpio parent how to emotionally relate to people. The Cancer MUST share, it's not private at all, it is only meaningful if it is shared. The lesson learned is therefore, if I don't understand how I'm feeling, to explain it is difficult. To separate the feelings from the reaction even more difficult. The reaction might be wrong but the feeling has no wrong or right. If you question me and I think I am right (but know I am wrong), I will snip. Is it a sting? It can be if properly applied. The difference is that the Cancer is sorry for behaving so badly because they can feel the hurt they inflict more keenly than their own pain. Hard to pause for reflection until I'm forced to, and I'm not forced to until I've inflicted. This will be an interesting knot to unravel. Ah, that's it. The sting carries a venom. The snip will heal cleanly (unless the nipper has been messing around in some germiness). Get this venom out of me, no need to pass it on. (Ah, now I understand. Out, out, Damned Spot).
Sting or be stung. What a way to raise a child!
One point of view: "If you push me, I perceive an attack. I am therefore justified in defending myself."
Another point of view: "I am trying to reach out to you emotionally to understand you and I do this by asking questions when I don't understand."
Not really an attack is it? Most people wouldn't think so. The Scorpio's world is precious to them, their emotional world and emotional privacy utmost. How dare anyone try and understand it, it's private. The Scorpio then seems to think that there's no accountability to the rest of the world, they can do as they like when they like, for emotional reasons that no-one has any right to pry into. So the poor Cancer child tries to learn from the Scorpio parent how to emotionally relate to people. The Cancer MUST share, it's not private at all, it is only meaningful if it is shared. The lesson learned is therefore, if I don't understand how I'm feeling, to explain it is difficult. To separate the feelings from the reaction even more difficult. The reaction might be wrong but the feeling has no wrong or right. If you question me and I think I am right (but know I am wrong), I will snip. Is it a sting? It can be if properly applied. The difference is that the Cancer is sorry for behaving so badly because they can feel the hurt they inflict more keenly than their own pain. Hard to pause for reflection until I'm forced to, and I'm not forced to until I've inflicted. This will be an interesting knot to unravel. Ah, that's it. The sting carries a venom. The snip will heal cleanly (unless the nipper has been messing around in some germiness). Get this venom out of me, no need to pass it on. (Ah, now I understand. Out, out, Damned Spot).
