Beagling

I went to the mountain but was very afraid. I had been to the mountain before and felt happy and had fun, but this time it was more slippery and I went fast and couldn't stop except for violently. I had forgotten to be The Beagle, I was cautious but didn't want to disappoint. I went beyond my boundaries, forgetting that they are MY boundaries, they may change from day to day but the constancy is that they are mine. I could feel something coming but didn't listen to myself, I had never been afraid like that before and thought it was just me and I would get over it. I slid and slipped and fell lots of times, I could see where I was going which confused me very much. I wanted to stop or be excellent and I couldn't do both. When you fall, you fall in your mind first, right? I didn't know how fragile my bones were, or that I could save them with my muscles. I was going too fast and couldn't turn in time and didn't want to shoot off the edge. I panicked, threw my body around and feet in the air, so fast, the ground was closer than I thought it was. My hand caught me, rather than my neck or my head. I heard the snap, a small sound but unmistakable and seemingly understated for such a large problem. I wonder if I broke a bone? I thought something was going to give, I couldn't keep at it all day feeling so scared. There were three days to go on the mountain, it couldn't go so wrong so soon? Could I deny the injury and ride the rest of the day? But it had gone wrong from the start when I wouldn't listen to myself, this was just the end part. How could anyone not know when they'd broken something? My body was very clear about it, divided into "right" and "definitely not right". Consequences spun out ahead of me and the tears came, so angry at myself for second guessing every step of the way. Be more stubborn, just like the beagle, Beagle. Remember how the puppy would lie flat on the ground when she didn't want to move anywhere? NO! I WON'T go with you, I want to be RIGHT HERE. I do not want to be dragged by this leash. I couldn't move her no matter what I did, had to pick her up and carry her, to the laughs of the schoolchildren "Haahaa, look, the puppy doesn't want to walk!" Beagles can be stubborn. Apparently now the sport owes me.